I should just write - The End - after all that because I don't want to scare future second moms or focus on the craziness when this handsome baby was the outcome. I had him over 3 weeks ago Monday and I am recovering but still experiencing a little PTSD...
I have spoken about natural births to people before but I always thought there were options for a way out. Like you could say - nope, pain meds, NOW!, can't take this anymore, make it stop hurting.
It was John and mine's fault Ethan was born earlier than his due date. I was ready to have a baby but our sitter for Mathew had yet to arrive. We should have waited for John's sister to be intimate again. Either way I thought we would be ok, people offered to help...
All Sunday I was uncomfortable. We made it to church and I basically sat in the comfy mother's room chair all sacrament. I sat through Primary music time and I sat when I got home... My belly was low and tight and I was tired. I tried to sleep it off but the discomfort didn't go away once I got up. I sent a text to our local sitter just in case things progressed. The Oscars were on that night so I turned it on to distract myself but found I was too uncomfortable by 9pm. I thought if things continue I wanted to at least have some sleep, so I went to bed. John was already there so we went to bed early.
I didn't sleep long and was awoken by severe cramps at 11:30pm. I had to pee but didn't want to as my water would break and we would really have to go then. I guess I was still in denial that the baby was coming already! I wanted the pain to stop and we could wait till Amber got there to have Ethan. But the pain didn't stop and my water didn't break - the pain got worse and closer. I tried to go back to sleep in between but would always wake in pain. By 12:30 I woke John and told him what was up. By 12:40 I said it was time to go.
Our sitter came by 1am and we were in the car driving by 1:10am.
Once we turned onto VFW road our gas light turned on. Now it was 36 below when we left and the car was still freezing after a 10min warm-up. The gas we had was used in no time and we were running on fumes and God's grace by the time we got to the hospital. John thought we could stop at a gas station but didn't realize all pumps would be closed and I was not thinking straight to remember. The ride was more painful and contractions were every 4-5min. So I would have been yelling at him if he did stop. I was so worried Ethan would come in the car....
Finally we made it to the ER at McLaren in Petoskey - 45min later... And I felt it took forever for the OB ward to come get me after we checked in. I was hunched over the back of a wheelchair doing fast breaths with random strangers staring at me. Their faces were priceless at first but after awhile they didn't even look my way. They probably thought - oh she is just having a baby - nothing to watch here...
We were admitted and set up in a room. They put me on the bed right away to monitor the baby and asked what our preferences were. I said I was open to anything and wanted to know my options at every stage if asked. John said we would like to try natural. I wanted things prepped just in case I said something. But when they heard the word 'natural' - all else went out of their heads. Plus, nothing is speedy at that hospital.
So I was in active labor strapped to a monitor in a bed with the nurse trying to start my IV (as I was strep b postitive) having contractions every three mintutes. Now, as I think back, it was the nurse that made all this part horrible! She didn't order my antibiotics right away and when she did she ordered them wrong... blood was literally spurting out of my arm while she was placing my IV... she got lousy readings from the monitor so I had to stay in bed longer... and didn't have the Dr. check me till I had been there for 30mins. I asked right when we got there for them to check me but I was strapped up to monitors first. Finally I scream at the nurse to check me, which she does and then called the Dr in right away to confirm. I was already an 8! This denied my epidural and there was nothing to be done but let the baby come. At least they offered the tub and jets. I finally got out of the bed and pooped and got in the tub. It was such a relief to move and be warm in their tub. Contractions were becoming more unbearable and I kept asking for something to dull the pain. All they could offer would affect the baby and slow the process....no way was I slowing things down. So nothing...
After I pooped things really picked up. Contractions every two minutes, I could barely breathe! They checked me again and said I was ready to push. They said when I felt it - felt what? So I tried randomly and more poop came out. It was weird but I knew what was pushing poop out and what was pushing the baby.
I threw up. More hard contractions. I was shaking. I threw up again.
Then the Dr. asked if my water broke and at that point, I couldn't tell. I thought, you couldn't tell that when they checked me?? So the Dr. broke my water - what a relief and what pain after... Oh man, I thought I was going to die. I silently prayed in my head to help get me through it. 'Help me breathe, to not pass out, to not die.' The Dr said I needed to push more as the baby's head was visible. I didn't want to, I wanted to run away over the back of the bed and just leave it all behind. I wanted to leave my body there and just stop all the pain. It was a sureal experience feeling separate from myself. But I obeyed and pushed. I started to tear at my old episiotomy site so she cut something new. More pain, more yelling, more pushing and finally a baby.
And we named him Ethan.
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