After Birth

I started to shake... I started to freeze... I started to panic. There was this baby on me and John was overjoyed saying 'you did it, you're amazing' taking pictures and all I could think of was I'm dying... Then the Dr. started to sew me up poking lydocaine everywhere to dull the pain... I was holding a slippery baby, shaking, and getting sewed up... Feeling everything down there and the contractions kept coming! The nurse took baby to measure and check his vitals and blood, John followed. The Dr. finished with me and followed as well. I was left alone. I kept asking why and what was happening to me but everyone was focused on baby. I felt alone and that no one would noticed if I just slipped away. I was so close to passing out and never opening my eyes again.... 

I screamed out 'what is happening to me!' Finally the nurse returned and said 'oh, all normal, no worries'! NORMAL - this was normal!! She gave me IV narcotics and lots of warm blankets. I stopped shaking after a hour.

I nursed Ethan in the delivery room and slept for an hour while John bathed and put Ethan to sleep. I woke starving around 6:30am... We were able to switch rooms and eat before Ethan wanted to nurse again (John and I shared as I ordered a huge breakfast). I got more narcotics as strong contractions were still happening... Again, all normal. 

I finally got to see and enjoy my baby while nursing this second time. I was able to look at him, a little baby with black hair and big black eyes. 

He did well latching on and my milk came in fine. I hurt all over and needed more sleep. John took the pullout couch and we all passed out till lunch time. 

We woke to eat lunch and John left to get gas and lunch for himself. Ethan stayed by me while John was gone and basically nursed the whole time. I eventually got more narcotics but was still noticing contractions and pain all over. Especially when Ethan would latch on. 

By the time John got back I was ready to give him baby charge. He said he stopped by car dealerships to check out deals for more cars. I could see he was admit about trading in the Element for more seat belts. I told him to chill as we just had a baby.

We took time to check on Mathew (who was still with the sitter) and to call the parents. 

I quickly fell back asleep after while John took care of Ethan thinking of middle names and checking Craig's List for cars. When I woke again, John stated that he needed to go see a car he found ASAP.... It bugged me that he would just leave again hours after I had just given birth but there was no stopping him. We did need a vechicle to manage our family, so I let him go. 

The nurses helped while John was out, but it was just baby and me. I still couldn't move well but was finally set up with diaper ice packs and more cleaning supplies. I watched TV while Ethan cuddled.  

John called asking what our spending limits would be and I could tell he was negotiating a sale. I just hoped I would like the vehicle later as I was preoccupied. He thought it was worth it so I said ok with whatever he decided. But a trade meant having the title and that was at home.... They ended up holding the car for cleaning and John came back to the hospital. He wanted to go home to spend the night with Mathew and get the title. There was no way I was letting him leave overnight. I needed help as I still felt awfull. I do love that he was so into getting a new car as it was needed, but knew it could wait. I wish he would have focused on me more. 

This night was a bit better as Ethan went out for blood work, his hearing screening (which they taped his results to the baby bed), and his pediatrician check-up. I got three hours straight that night!! John took poopy duty and then woke me to nurse him again. John was great that night so I am glad he stayed. 

The next day John was antzy about the car so I let him go get the title, our extra keys, and clean out the Element for the dealership. The sitter brought Mathew and for the celebration dinner. A friend from grad school sent chocolate covered strawberries so we ate those as well. 

Mathew was adorable meeting Ethan. He was all hugs and 'oh, ah'. He looked different to me as well. He looked older. 

John missed Mathew's initial reaction as he hadn't returned yet from the dealership. So I was chasing an 18m old and a 2day old for about 20min - while recovering myself... Yeah, not cool. 

Anyway, the evening turned out fine and Mathew went back with the sitter. That night was Ethan's circumcision. I was impressed by the Dr. and it looked great! Nothing at all like Mathew's!! 

They finally let us go the next morning as neither of us were showing signs of infection. It was nice that we got to stay so long. I actually enjoyed this hospital stay as I took advantage of the help and rest I got. 

But we had to get home as John had to pick up Amber from the airport that evening. 

So off we went - in our new car....